


Accidentally on Purpose Falling For You

by notanannoyingfangirl, snowbunnylester (xrosepetalsx)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Blind Date, Fake Relationship, Getting Together, M/M, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-10 16:05:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3296414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notanannoyingfangirl/pseuds/notanannoyingfangirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xrosepetalsx/pseuds/snowbunnylester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being set up on a blind date neither boy was prepared for, Dan and Phil come up with a plan to get back at their friends; Pretend to date, and then have the ugliest break up imaginable. The problem? They hadn’t expected to fall for each other. Co-written with <a href="http://notanannoyingfangirl.tumblr.com">notannoyingfangirl</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2: COMING SATURDAY
> 
>  **Disclaimer** : In no way do I pretend that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.
> 
> This is it - it’s finally here! The much awaited 11,000 word fake relationship fic I’ve mentioned probably a million times because I love it so much. As it was so long, [notanannoyingfangirl](http://notanannoyingfangirl.tumblr.com)and I have decided to split it in two. Therefore, part two will arrive on her blog two days from now on Saturday! (Or in this case, right here on AO3) I promise, seeing as it’s already completed. I sincerely hope you guys enjoy this one as we both put quite a lot of effort into it and, like I said, it’s a personal favorite of mine. 
> 
> Special thanks to [mostlikelyprocrastinating](http://mostlikelyprocrastinating.tumblr.com) for beta’ing for me, and, of course [notanannoyingfangirl](http://notanannoyingfangirl.tumblr.com) who I’ve mentioned two times now because I love working with her.

“Wait, so where are we going again?” Phil asked as he pulled on his nicest shirt - a blue button up with black hearts on it.

“Just out to dinner with an old friend of mine. He just moved to London, and I figured we could go somewhere fancy for his first meal. Butter him up with London’s finest!” PJ said, giving Phil a once over as he turned around.

“Right. So why do I have to go again, exactly?” Phil asked, moving over to the mirror to fuss with his hair, trying to get it to fall just right. PJ followed after him, reaching up to adjust his shirt collar with a concentrated look on his face.

“Because he doesn’t know anyone here, Phil. And besides, I am the one who got him a job at the BBC with us, and I figured it might make him more comfortable if he knew more than just one other person at work on his first day. He’s still a bit iffy about having moved here, after all, so try and make a good first impression, okay?” PJ replied.

“Now turn around, and let me get a good look at you!”

“Peej, I’m perfectly capable of dressing myself, you know. I’m not a child!” Phil whined, but did as he was told. PJ once again gave him a critical once over, and then he smiled.

“Perfect! Let’s go!”

—

The restaurant they showed up to was definitely a posh one, and Phil almost felt under dressed as they walked in. PJ, on the other hand, assured him that everything was fine, and that he looked perfect.

“Stop fussing, Phil, you’ll mess up your shirt!” he hissed, batting Phil’s hands away as he reached up to adjust his shirt collar for the fifth time.

“I can’t help it, I feel all out of place!” Phil hissed back, allowing PJ to step in front of him and push open the doors.

As they made their way inside, Phil felt even more out of place. The host was staring at them with such an intensely falsified smile that it made Phil’s hands shake, and he shoved them into his pockets in an attempt to make them stop.

“Are you sure this is where we’re meant to be, Peej?” he asked, flashing a guilty smile at the host.

“Yes, now stop fiddling!” PJ responded, turning away from Phil to flash their host a smile. As PJ sidled up to his side, Phil angled his body away, staring instead at the impressively dressed guests scattered around the dark room.

“Reservation for two, please. Under the name “Lester”,” he heard PJ say, and his head immediately whipped towards him in confusion.

“For two? Wait, what the hell, PJ?” he hissed, nudging his best friend in the side. PJ sent him a sideways grin, but otherwise ignored him as the host looked through the black book sitting on the stand in front of him.

“Yes, of course. Come this way, sirs,” the host finally replied, grabbing two menus and turning to escort the two into the restaurant.

“Ah, no, I’ll actually be staying behind, thanks. I’m sure Mr. Lester’s date will be arriving shortly,” PJ said, waving goodbye to Phil with a cheeky smile. The host bowed his head in acquiescence, then turned and continued on his way. Taking advantage of Phil’s shock, PJ shoved his friend forward, then turned around and left.

In the next second, Phil had been escorted to a beautifully decorated table next to a window, alone, and all he could think was  _That bastard!_  as he sat down.

—

"I don’t know, Chris," Dan said, hesitantly, "It’s your boss, why do I have to come?"

"Because he’s bringing his wife, and I refuse to be the awkward third wheel," Chris informed his friend, as he double checked his tie in Dan’s mirror.

"So, I’m your date?" Dan asked, raising an eyebrow, "Couldn’t you have convinced, I dunno, a girl to go?"

"It was last minute," Chris said, waving off Dan’s comments. "So will you just get ready?"

"What do you want me to even wear? Jesus Christ, Chris, I don’t own anything formal."

"Put on that dress shirt, you know, the white one with the keys," Chris replied, finally appearing satisfied with his reflection.

Sliding his arms into the sleeves of the dress shirt, Dan wrinkled his nose at his reflection, “I have to straighten my hair,” he said, pushing past Chris and toward the bathroom.

"There’s no time for that," Chis exclaimed, grabbing his friend’s arm. "We have a reservation."

"Well, I can’t exactly go out looking like a hobbit, can I?" Dan asked, running his fingers through his unruly curls.

"You look fine," Chris said breezily. "Can we go now?"

"Yes. Fine. We can go."

—

"This is awfully posh, Chris," Dan said as his friend pushed the restaurant’s doors open. It was fancy, and it looked like the kind of place that belonged in a movie, definitely not the kind of place Dan Howell would’ve chosen to eat at.

"Well, yeah, what did you expect?" Chris asked his friend as Dan took in the restaurant’s dark, wood paneled walls and chandeliers that hung from the ceiling.

"I feel like a chandelier is going to fall on my head," Dan whispered, as Chris nudged him in the direction of the host.

"Should have a table saved under the name Lester," Chris said, before turning back to his friend, "So, Dan, I know that you’re new to London and all-"

"Chris," Dan said, a hint of warning in his tone. "You didn’t."

"So, I took the liberty of setting up a date for you," Chris said with a grin. "Now have fun. But not too much," he added with a wink.

"I hate you," Dan groaned.

"Don’t leave your date waiting," Chris said, smiling at Dan one last time before he turned to leave.

Whirling around, Dan saw that the host was staring at him with narrowed eyes, no doubt waiting to show him to his table.

Taking a deep breath, Dan decided that murdering Chris was a perfectly acceptable punishment.

—

The main area of the restaurant was dark, with candlelit tables, and probably a menu that consisted of dishes Dan couldn’t pronounce.

To say that he wasn’t excited was a bit of an understatement. In fact, his stomach was nothing but a knot. He didn’t like real dates, let alone a date with someone he didn’t even know.

His stomach twisted again when he realized that the table his host was leading him toward was not, in fact, empty.

"Here you are, sir," the host said, before leaving Dan alone with the stranger.

Half of Dan was still fuming, but the other half was definitely able to appreciate the man sitting across from him. His black fringe swept across his face, and even in the dim light, his blue eyes were bright enough to sparkle. That half of Dan definitely wished he had straightened his hair.

"This is awkward," the stranger muttered. "I didn’t even know I was being set up."

"I didn’t either," Dan admitted, somewhat surprised that it appeared his ‘date’ had no idea what was going on as well, as well as by the man’s obviously northern accent.

Clearing his throat, the stranger shifted in his seat, “I’m Phil, by the way,” he said.

"Dan," Dan offered, running a hand through his curls. Then he burst out laughing, "I’m sorry," he sputtered, catching sight of Phil’s bewildered face. "I just can’t believe Chris did this to me."

"Chris, you mean Chris Kendall?" Phil asked, "He’s friends with Peej. They must have planned this together."

"Sly shits," Dan said, calming down from his outburst. "I thought we were meeting Chris’ boss."

"Well, I thought we were meeting the new BBC employee," Phil said.

"That actually is true; I did just get a job at the BBC," Dan said. "But you don’t look much like Chris’ boss."

"I’ll take that as a compliment," Phil said with a laugh, fiddling with his fringe.

Dan felt himself relax. Maybe Phil wasn’t so bad after all. “I’m not going to lie, Phil. You’re really attractive, and I’m sure that you’re great. Maybe if we’d met under different circumstances this date would be the real deal, but I’m more interested in getting our friends back than making small talk over dinner,” Dan said, hoping Phil didn’t take his comment the wrong way.

On the contrary, Phil seemed intrigued, leaning forward though there was no real need to whisper.

"I agree," he said. "I do not appreciate the fact that Peej lied to me. What’s your plan?"

"I hadn’t thought that far ahead," Dan admitted. “But, I’m sure we can think of something.”

—

By the time Phil got home from his “date,” it was relatively late. His backstabbing best friend and flatmate, PJ, was waiting for him in the lounge. Phil could hear the sounds of their TV from the downstairs hallway, and he took a deep breath as he closed the door behind him and started to make his way up.

His heart was racing at the thought of lying to his best friend, especially considering he still wanted to wring the other man’s neck, but it was all for a good cause. Dan had come up with a wonderful plan that would not only teach Chris and PJ a lesson, but would hopefully put a stop to their matchmaking ways - at least for a little while.

See, Dan and Phil were going to pretend to date for a little while, and then, when Chris and PJ were least expecting it, they were going to have a very loud, messy break-up in front of all of their friends.

The embarrassment would be worth it to see the mortification on Chris and PJ’s faces.

So Phil made his way upstairs, cheeks flushed in fear of being caught lying, until he was standing in the doorway where PJ could see him.

PJ turned his head, and the smile that was already present there grew into a very excited grin as he took in Phil’s fabricated, rumpled appearance.

“So? How’d it go?” he asked in a voice that sounded very much like he already knew exactly how things had gone. Phil, in turn, ducked his head, and reached back with his hand to rub at the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Good, I guess,” he admitted, walking over to plop down on the sofa next to his friend. When PJ snorted, he turned his face away again and reached up to fiddle with his already messed up fringe. Dan had run his fingers through it before they’d parted ways, to make it appear as if the two had had a very intense make-out session, and it was clear now that he had definitely succeeded.

Phil couldn’t help but be embarrassed, even if the sentiment was far from the truth.

“Any plans for further dates, then?” PJ asked casally, now staring at the TV screen as if he wasn’t the least bit interested in what Phil had to say.

“Yeah. Sunday,” Phil responded nonchalantly.

“Cool, I’m glad things worked out then,” PJ replies, and it was clear from the look on his face that he was very pleased with himself. He turned that look on Phil, a twinkle in his eye that Phil couldn’t ignore, and Phil rolled his eyes.

“Alright, fine. I guess I owe you an apology for all the murderous thoughts I was sending your way after you left me all alone at the restaurant,  _unannounced_ , earlier, but can I just request something first? Next time, a little warning would be nice,” Phil suggested, and the nonchalance radiating from PJ finally left as he reached over to pull Phil into a sideways hug.

“Yeah, but if I’d told you, you never would have gone, and then you wouldn’t have another date with Dan!” PJ exclaimed, laughter in his voice. Phil snorted in return, shrugging out from his best friends hold and scooting away.

“True, but then our first bonding experience wouldn’t have been about all of the embarrassing things you’ve done in your sleep, so you have no one but yourself to blame if Dan looks at you with new eyes on Monday,” Phil replied, choking back a laugh when PJ turned on him with an appalled look on his face. Reaching behind him, PJ raised one of the sofa cushions in threat, bringing it down swiftly before Phil could even think to react.

Yelping, Phil rolled away, grabbing one of the pillows on his side as he hit the floor and raising it in defence. Within the next moment, the two had engaged in a pillow fight.

—

“No, but in all seriousness,” PJ said once it was over, “did you really like him?”

Phil shrugged in reply. “Yeah…I mean, we have a lot in common.”

PJ smiled smugly, and winked.

“Helps that he’s pretty attractive, though, am I right?”

“Shut up!”

—

Dan tugged on his collar, undoing the first couple of buttons. Dan knew that Chris would be waiting for him in his flat - honestly the other boy was there so often he practically lived there. It didn’t matter that Dan hadn’t been there to let his friend in, Chris had long ago discovered that he could climb the fire escape.

Messing with his hair, much the same as he’d done to Phil before they’d parted ways, Dan squinted at his reflection in one of the nearby shop’s front window. Well, he looked like utter shit, but that was probably what Chris was expecting.

Walking into his building and up the stairs, (as the lift really wasn’t the safest thing) Dan paused outside of his door. Taking in a deep breath, Dan tried to imagine the look on Chris’ face when he and Phil ‘broke up’. Honestly, he loved Chris like a brother, but he could be a right prat sometimes. Setting Dan up on a blind date (when he was new to London and barely knew anyone, anyway!) was exactly the kind of thing Chris needed to know was not acceptable.

Then, he pushed the door open.

“How was the date?” Chris called, from where he was sprawled across Dan’s sofa.

“You’re a right idiot,” Dan informed him, kicking the back on the sofa as he walked past.

“And you’re a right liar,” Chris said, as he took in Dan’s appearance. “You look like you had a great time.”

“Shut up,” Dan said halfheartedly, his cheeks glowing, and he wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or the fact that he was basically lying to his best friend.

“Come on, Phil’s great, isn’t he?” Chris said, pushing himself up so that he was sitting properly. “I told Peej how much you two would have in common.”

“So, naturally, you set us up instead of just introducing us like normal people?” Dan asked, trying not to let too much bitterness seep into his voice.

“Don’t be like that, Dan,” Chris scolded, “you had fun, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did,” Dan said, and that wasn’t a lie. He had a lot of fun plotting with Phil on how to get their friends back, “Phil was pretty great.”

“I have to call Louise,” Chris said, swinging his legs over the arm of the sofa and walking toward the fire escape.

“What? Louise was in on this, too?” Dan asked, thinking of his only other London friend. He couldn’t believe that Lou would go along with one of Chris’ schemes.

“Of course not, do you reckon I’m an idiot?”

“Yes,” Dan muttered, low enough so that Chris couldn’t hear him.

“Still, she’ll be happy it worked out, she’s been wanting to set you up with someone for ages.” Chris continued as he pulled open Dan’s window and stepped onto the fire escape.

Groaning as his friend disappeared to wherever he was off to, Dan pulled his phone out from his pocket.

**{Text} To: Phil**

Chris is going to tell Louise (do you know her?)

I can’t lie to her…. help!

**{Text} From: Phil**

Maybe you should tell her the truth (yes I know Louise,

we work together at the BBC) we could use some help.

**{Text} To: Phil**

Yeah, okay, good idea.

Closing out of the conversation with Phil, Dan selected Louise’s contact and put the phone to his ear.

“Dan,” she squealed, “I heard you have a new boyfriend.”

“Lou, are you alone?” Dan asked, praying Chris had just called, not gone over.

“What? Yeah, is everything okay, Dan?” she asked, sounding worried.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just that I want to tell you something, but you can’t tell Chris or Peej, okay?”

“Yeah, fine, fine. What’s going on?”

“Phil and I aren’t really dating, we’re just pretending to get back at Chris and Peej for setting us up,” Dan explained, hating how juvenile the plan sounded without Phil to back him up.

“Oh,” Louise said, sounding a little sad. “So, your really amazing date didn’t actually happen?”  

“Who told you it was really amazing? Nevermind, it was Chris, wasn’t it?” Dan said, suddenly wishing he hadn’t told Lou anything. Maybe he should have kept it between him and Phil.

—

“I swear on your Mum’s life, Philip Michael Lester, that if you hurt Dan, I will end you,” Louise threatened the minute she walked in, a laughing Dan trailing in behind her.

“Michael?” Dan mouthed at him, his guffaws growing louder the minute Phil confirmed it.

“Shut it, Daniel James Howell. The same goes for you!” Louise continued as Phil led them from the downstairs hall up into the lounge.

Laughing as well, Phil pushed open the door and ushered his guests inside.

“Hey, Louise, how are you?” he asked, once all three of them had settled down.

“I’m good, thanks for asking, Phil. You have much better manners than this one over here,” Louise answered, knocking Dan over the head as she spoke.

Phil laughed.

“So, I assume Dan filled you in, then?” he continued, slightly hesitant due to Louise’s earlier teasing. Louise only smiled.

“Yes, unfortunately, he did,” she sighed. “I have to admit though, I was pretty disappointed to hear you two hadn’t hit it off. I was so sure you’d get along!” she said, disappointment radiating from her in waves.

“But that’s neither here, nor there,” she continued. “The point is, I’m here to help! Honestly, neither of you have got any clue what you’ve gotten yourselves into,” she sighed.

“Right. Thanks Louise,” Phil quipped back with a sheepish grin.

“It’s my pleasure. First off, you two have got to get your stories straight…”

—

Under Louise’s guidance, Dan and Phil went out the next day as planned. Their outfits were a bit more casual, as they were meeting up for a quiet lunch in Starbucks, but PJ and Chris waved them both off with matching grins. Phil’s heart was still thudding in his chest, despite his nerves having less to do with pre-date jitters and more to do with his fear of being caught out.

It didn’t help that, for the first time since Phil had met him, Dan’s hair was straightened. Phil couldn’t deny that it made Dan even more attractive, but he shoved the thought somewhere to the back of his mind, and offered to order their drinks for them.

“Ooooh, a real gentleman, eh, Phil?” Dan teased, but agreed nonetheless. “I”ll have a Caramel Macchiato, if you don’t mind.”

Phil nearly choked on his own spit.

“Excuse me?”

“A Caramel Macchiato?” Dan repeated, confusion in his voice.

“This cannot be happening,” Phil muttered to himself. He didn’t bother to explain himself as he walked away, pressing his hand to his forehead in frustration.

So, not only was Dan Howell incredibly attractive, and endlessly adorable with his curly brown hair and the crater that was the dimple in his cheek, but he was also turning out to have very similar tastes to Phil himself. Very similar.

By the time Phil had ordered, he was too flustered to return to the table with Dan, so instead, he hovered near the “pick up” sign on the other end of the store, waiting for his name to be called. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Dan examining him, and despite already knowing that Dan found him attractive, it made Phil squirm under his gaze.

 _Stop it Phil. Who cares if he thinks you’re attractive? None of this is real_ , he reminded himself.

“Two Caramel Macchiatos for Phil!” the barista called, and Phil immediately made his way over to accept the two mugs. His hands were shaking slightly as he made his way back to Dan, but at least his heart rate had returned to normal.

“Caramel Macchiato is my favorite drink,” Dan stated calmly as Phil offered one of the mugs to him.

“Mine too,” Phil muttered back, ducking his head at the little spark that ran through his arm when their fingers accidentally brushed. Sitting down across from him, Phil cleared his throat.

“I guess we really do have more in common than we’d previously thought.”

“I guess so,” Dan agreed. They went quiet, both boys awkwardly staring into their starbuck’s mugs as they stirred it around. Not for the first time, Phil found himself wishing that this “fake” relationship wasn’t so fake after all.

He cleared his throat again.

“So…what’s your favorite color?” he asked, attempting to diffuse the tension with a silly grin.

“Black, yours?”

“Green,” he replied, letting the questions tumble off his tongue as quickly as he could think of them. It almost didn’t matter if they were pointless, or if they’d add in anyway to their situation. Phil just wanted to know.

—

The door practically slammed shut behind Dan, but he could hardly bring himself to care. His cheeks were flushed, and though he would blame anything else, he knew it was because of how much time he’d just spent with Phil.

 _Dammit, Howell_ , he scolded himself. It’s not like any of this was real. He wasn’t supposed to get attached to Phil. This was nothing but a show, and he was nothing but an actor.

"Just acting," Dan muttered bitterly under his breath.

"What was that, Dan?" Chris asked as he stepped out of the kitchen, one of Dan’s coffee mugs in his hand.

"Jesus Christ, Chris," Dan said, placing a hand over his heart, not that he was particularly surprised to see Chris in his apartment. He just hadn’t expected him to appear so suddenly.

"Sorry, did I scare you?" Chris asked, looking sheepish. "Didn’t mean to. How was the date."

"It was just lunch," Dan replied, kicking the toe of his shoe against the ground. Chris just gave him a  _look_. “It was great,” he finally admitted. “Did you know he likes Muse? Do you know how hard it is to find somebody with decent music taste these days?”

"I knew you’d like him," Chris said with a laugh, sending a pang down Dan’s chest. While he still wanted to get back at his friend for setting him up on a blind date in a city he barely knew, Dan hated lying to Chris.

"Shut up," Dan said, pushing Chris’ shoulder lightly. "I’m having dinner at Lou’s, so I have to go change."

Chris’ eyes widened, “well you can’t be late for that. Lou would kill me.”

"Lock up when you leave," Dan said, knowing Chris would linger around the flat for a while after he left.

"I always do."

—

"Oh, two times in a week!" Louise exclaimed as she opened the door. "I feel special."

Dan felt a grin creeping onto his face, his real 100 watt smile, not the half assed one he usually used when he was out in public. “It’s good to see you too, Louise,” he said with a laugh.

"Right, so, dinner is more of that Chinese takeaway, but I figured that didn’t matter since it’s not the dinner you came for," Louise said with a wink.

"I’m guessing you already have the next three weeks of my life planned," Dan said as he followed her inside.

"Correct," Louise said, "get your calendar ready, you’re about to have a filled social calendar. I figure you and Phil can get away with private ‘dates’ at first but eventually Chris and Peej are going to want to see you in a room together. What are you going to do then? You have to at least hold hands."

Dan dropped his head into his hands, tilting the chair he was sitting on. “I hadn’t even thought about that,” he groaned.

"But I did," Louise said in a singsong, "so I reckon when you and Phil go out on your ‘dates’ you should at least act like a couple, so you’re in the habit when you’re around Chris and Peej."

"Right as always, Lou," Dan said, "I’m guessing you already told Phil?"

"He called an hour before you came over."

—

Dan tugged on his tie. When did he start wearing ties? Glancing around the small resturant, Dan couldn’t help but notice he was the only person sitting alone. Letting Louise be in charge of his and Phil’s plans was probably a bad idea. It wasn’t as if they were actually dating, yet here he was sat in a small restaurant with candles and all that shit.

Hell, it even had tablecloths.

"Hey," Phil said, his baritone voice sounding slightly more northern than normal, as he dropped into the chair across from Dan.

"Hey," Dan said, then wondered what, exactly, Louise wanted them to do. Hold hands? Kiss?

Phil seemed just as unsure as he was, burying his head behind his menu, even though Dan could’ve said what he would order.

Just then the waiter stopped at their table, which Phil didn’t notice due to his nose being practically glued to the menu in his hands.

"He’ll have the ricotta gnudi, hold the mushrooms," Dan said, the words leaving his mouth before he could think about it. Phil’s head snapped up, obviously surprised that Dan had taken the liberty of ordering for him.

"Yeah, that sounds great," Phil said, folding up his menu and handing it to the waiter.

—

"I had a great time tonight," Phil said, their hands brushing against each other’s while they walked outside of the restaurant. Dan was half tempted to reach over and wrap their hands together, but he wasn’t sure what Phil would think about that.

"So did I," Dan said honestly, and it seemed like him having fun with Phil was the only thing he was actually honest about anymore.

"No," Phil said, as he stopped walking, and Dan knew that they had to go their separate ways soon. "I had a great time tonight, for real."

"Me too," Dan agreed, "for real."

Phil stepped forward pressing his lips to the side of Dan’s cheek.

"I’ll see you later, Dan," he said, turning to walk away, leaving Dan standing in the middle of the pavement.

A hand was pressed to his cheek and the words ‘for real’ were echoing around his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [notananannoyingfangirl](http://notanannyingfangirl.tumblr.com): eek it’s finally here! Thank you to everyone who read part one, and I hope you enjoy part two just as much! As always a special thanks to [katthequeen520](http://katthequeen520.tumblr.com) she is honestly is the best beta a girl could ask for. And of course, my co-author [](http://insanityplaysfics.tumblr.com>insanityplaysfics</a>%20because%20odiously%20none%20of%20this%20would%20have%20been%20possible%20without%20her.)

_God, Phil. That was so dumb! What were you thinking_! Phil berated himself, the moment he’d turned the corner. His heart was racing in his chest, and all he could think about was the way his lips had tingled the moment they’d touched Dan’s cheek.

Honestly, he couldn’t think of a stupider thing he could have done. They’d been doing so well, and Dan had obviously been enjoying his company, but this wasn’t real.

None of this was real. This was just a ploy to get back at their friends, and it didn’t matter how sweet it was that Dan had payed enough attention to Phil that he could order for him. Dan had to pay attention to Phil, if they wanted to convince their friends.

_But he said it back_ , Phil’s mind was keen to remind him, and he couldn’t help the little, fluttery sigh of contentment that leaked from his lips at the thought. Dan had said it back. Dan had had just as much fun as he’d had, _for real_.

_No, Phil. Stop. It doesn’t mean anything_ , his mind continued to remind him, and with a heavy, and confused heart, Phil pushed himself off the wall he’d been leaning against, and headed the rest of the way home.

—

The minute the door closed behind him, Phil could hear PJ scrambling out of his room to greet him, and all Phil could think was  _Where’s all that love struck foolishness now, you twit?_

Schooling his expression from one of exhaustion, Phil pressed a smile onto his lips and began to whistle a tuneless song. PJ was waiting for him at the top of the stairs, an expectant look on his face.

“I think I’m in love,” Phil blurted, before he could stop himself, and despite this whole thing being a charade, it suddenly occurred to Phil that he just might not be lying for the first time in a week.

—

It was strange, to Phil, to wake up with a heavy heart over something that wasn’t even his. As he dressed for work, all he could think about was Dan, and the way his eyes lit up when he smiled. All he could think about was the indent his dimple left in his cheek, and how warm his laugh made Phil feel.

Despite Dan having started work at the BBC a week ago, Phil hadn’t run into him once. At that moment, Phil couldn’t be more grateful, because if he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t entirely sure how he’d behave if he saw Dan just yet.

So, he walked into work with a sigh of relief, because it meant Phil would have yet another two days away from Dan to sort himself out.

_No one falls in love in one week, no matter how intense the dates are_ , Phil had to remind himself.  _That’s just not how the world works_.

It didn’t matter. Phil’s heart had other ideas, and those ideas were completely filled with Dan.

“Phil, they need you down in room 10,” a co-worker said as he shot by, a load of paperwork in his hands.

“Yeah, sure thing,” Phil responded, despite knowing the other man couldn’t hear him. Pushing away from his desk, Phil stood up, and nearly fainted when he caught sight of brown hair in his peripheral. He ducked back down quickly, nearly tripping over his chair, and groaned when his forehead slammed into his desk.

“Phil?” a familiar voice called.

“Yeah,” Phil responded, cursing himself as he came to the realization that this whole situation could have been avoided entirely if he’d just refrained from freaking out.

“You okay, there?” Dan asked, approaching Phil with raised eyebrows. Phil only nodded his head, pulling himself up with a tight grip on his desk.

“Yeah, I uh…just tripped.”

“Yeah, I saw,” Dan responded, grin on his face. “I didn’t know you were a klutz.”

“Pretty much my main quality,” Phil replied.

“Same,” Dan said with a laugh. “Anyway, where were you headed? Maybe I can walk you there?” he offered, and maybe it was just Phil, but he almost sounded shy.

“Room 10. It’s just two floors down, you really don’t have to-”

“What a coincidence, I’m headed down there myself!” he replied with a grin, taking Phil’s hand in his.

Phil really couldn’t help his blush.

—

“Dan, Phil! Glad you could make it!” PJ greeted them, a sly grin sliding over his face as he took in their clasped hands just before they let go. “I was hoping I could recruit you two to help us with a new show. We need some technicians familiar enough with each other to take care of a new DJ. You in?” he asked.

“Well, uhm, actually Peej-”

“Great, I knew I could count on you! Thanks, Phil!” he exclaimed, cutting Phil off. “The new guy should be here any minute, and then…” PJ’s voice trailed off as it dawned on Phil what exactly this would entail. His mini breaks from Dan would now be pretty much non-existent.

He turned his horrified gaze on Dan, only to find the other man already staring at him. Dan’s expression seemed to fall the moment he took in Phil’s wide eyes, and Phil’s heart nearly broke right then and there.

“Dan,” Phil began.

“Are you two even listening to a word I’m saying? Love birds, I swear,” PJ said, scoffing in a mocking manner as he smiled at them.

Dan turned away. “Sorry Peej, what was that?” he asked, and it didn’t matter how hard Phil tried to get his attention after that. Dan wasn’t listening, and Phil was suddenly afraid he’d ruined everything.

—

Dan had been giving Phil the cold shoulder all day, not that he wanted to. Oh God, of course he didn’t _want_ to. But every time he so much as looked at the other boy, wide blue eyes flashed in his mind. Of course Phil wouldn’t _want_  to work with him, they weren’t boyfriends, maybe they weren’t even friends. PJ hadn’t stayed long enough to witness the icy silence that settled over them, small mercies, but with the way Phil had acted, Dan couldn’t help but wonder whether their ‘break up’ would be happening sooner than they’d planned.

Dan didn’t want to ‘break up’.

Dan didn’t know what he wanted.

It certainly wasn’t to be standing on the opposite end of the room, feeling Phil’s blue eyes follow his every move. No, what he wanted was hand holding and cheek kisses and maybe even real kisses. Like _proper_ , real kisses, not just a show that they were putting on for their friends.

The DJ they were supposed to be helping hadn’t arrived yet, making them the only two people in the room. Dan thought that, maybe, he could’ve cut the tension with a knife.   

“Dan,” Phil said, looking up from the switches he was fiddling with, “can we talk about this?”

“What’s there to talk about. You obviously don’t want to talk to me,” Dan spat, bitterness seeping into his voice.

“Is that what you think?” Phil asked, disbelief audible. “Why on earth would you think that, Dan?”

“Maybe the way you looked properly horrified to be working with me,” Dan muttered, still not turning to face Phil.

“No, Dan, that’s not what I….” Phil trailed off, then started over, “I just didn’t think that us working together would end well.”

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause we’re supposed to have a horrible breakup and then pretend like we never met,” Dan said, finally turning around, “I don’t think I can do that, Phil.”

“I don’t think I can either,” Phil said, his voice small.

“This was a bloody stupid plan,” Dan muttered, kicking the base of the wall.

Groaning, Phil slumped down so that he was sitting, leaning his back against the wall with his too long legs folded in front of him. He looked adorable, and helpless, and Dan hated himself for putting them in this position. Why had he suggested such a stupid plan? This whole mess was his fault.

Mirroring Phil’s actions, Dan slid down until he was leaning against the wall. “This was a stupid plan,” he said aloud.

“Yeah,” Phil nodded, his blue eyes seeming brighter than usual.

“Maybe we should have just sucked it up and had our date in the first place, then we certainly wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Where would we be?” Phil asked, and Dan wasn’t sure if he was asking him, or just wondering aloud.

Instead of responding, Dan shrugged.

“I think we’d be dating. Like,  _properly_  dating,” Phil said, picking at something, a loose thread maybe.

“I think we would too,” Dan said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“Where does that leave us now?” Phil asked, and Dan didn’t have an answer for him.

—

“Oh, Dan,” Louise said, taking in the glum expression that had settled over his face, “are you alright?”

Dan shrugged, throwing himself onto her couch. “I want to eat junk food and drink too much alcohol,” he said.

“Did something happen? Is it Phil?” She asked, and even though she looked distraught, Dan could practically see the knowing smile that would grace her face if the circumstances were better.  

“Yes,” he said. “I don’t know what we are and we fought today, kind of.”

“What do you mean you don’t know what you are?” Lou said, sitting next to him on the couch.

“I mean, we’re friends, right?” Dan said, “and we’re pretending to be more and it’s so easy, it’s so perfect. I mean, if we’d met normally we’d probably be dating, like for real. But we didn’t meet normally and we’re not actually dating. But I still get these stupid butterflies everytime I so much as look at him, and it feels real. I wish it was real.”

“Oh, Dan,” Louise sighed, pulling her friend into a hug, “that sounds pretty real to me.”

“What am I supposed to do? Show up at his doorstep and say ‘I know you’re just my fake boyfriend, but I think I’m in love with you’? Because I’m sure that would go over really well.

“We’ll think of something,” Lou said, ruffling Dan’s hair, “don’t worry.”

“That’s the problem; worrying is all I can do.”

—

It had been two days. Two days and Dan was still giving Phil the cold shoulder. The weekend would be here soon, along with more fake dates that Louise had planned for them, but Phil couldn’t so much as get one word out of Dan that didn’t have to do with work directly.

Phil missed it. He missed their casual conversations and their easy going manner towards each other. He missed the man he could quickly become best friends with; even more than that, he missed the man he’d quickly fallen in love with, but he had no idea what to do.

The radio DJ they’d been working with the last few days, Tom, could feel the tension surrounding them, Phil was sure, but he never said a word about it. PJ never once showed up to give Phil a stern talking to, and he barely mentioned Dan at home anymore. It felt, as a whole, like the world was conspiring against him, and despite having no desire to make the next move, it was quickly becoming apparent to Phil that he really would have too.

No one was going to step in for him, and it was obvious by his demeanor that Dan sure as hell wasn’t planning on doing so either.

The minutes were ticking by, and with each bitter gaze Dan sent Phil’s way, Phil felt his anger rising. It wasn’t his fault Dan was angry with him, and it wasn’t his fault they’d gotten into this whole mess to begin with. Dan was the one who’d suggesting lying to their friends, rather than dealing with this whole situation like mature adults, so shouldn’t it be Phil ignoring Dan, rather than the other way around?

  
By the time Tom’s show had ended, and Dan and Phil were free to go home, Phil had worked himself up into enough of a rage that he decided he had no choice but to confront Dan about the entire charade.

Dan was the first out the door, but Phil was quick to chase after him, grabbing his upper arm to stop his momentum and turn him around to face Phil.

“What the actual fuck, Phil!?” Dan yelled at him, but Phil ignored him, scanning their immediate surroundings until he’d found a door. Then he hauled Dan after him and dragged them both into the, thankfully, empty conference room.

“Let me go, you asshat!” Dan growled the minute they were safely inside, and he yanked on his arm at the same time as Phil let go, causing him to lose his balance and very nearly fall on the ground. Phil moved forward to catch him, but Dan caught himself before he could, and sent him a glare that screamed back off, so he did.

“Don’t bother, I’m fine,” he hissed, turning his body slightly so he wouldn’t have to look at Phil. “What the fuck was that for, anyway? What’s going on?” he asked.

“You know exactly what’s going on, Dan. You’ve been ignoring me for two days now. The last conversation we had consisted of both of us agreeing that if we weren’t faking this relationship for our friends, we’d probably be dating for real by now. So tell me, Dan, what does that make us, huh?” Phil asked, voice slowly rising until he was forced to remind himself not to shout. “What are we to each other?” he asked.

Dan didn’t answer, just continued to glare at Phil with dark eyes that were quickly becoming red-rimmed.

“Dan!” Phil demanded, “What. Are. We!?” he asked, hands spread out at his sides.

Their eyes locked then, the pressure in the room building, until finally, Dan lashed out.

“How am I supposed to know, Phil!? I can’t read your mind, I don’t know what you want! I mean, honestly, what do you want me to say!?” he screamed, breathing harsh as he marched into Phil’s personal space, face red and mouth pursed like there were so many more words that he wanted to say, but he didn’t. It occurred to Phil, then, that they were closer now than they’d ever been before, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

Slowly, eyes still locked, Phil raised his hand to point a finger at Dan’s chest.

“I want you to tell me what you’re feeling, in here,” Phil responded, jabbing at his heart and causing Dan to flinch and take a step back.

Dan didn’t respond. Instead, he just dropped his gaze to the floor, and planted his feet.

“I don’t know,” he finally repeated, this time, voice soft.

“Am I just a means for revenge?” Phil asked, suddenly much calmer and more unsure of himself.

“No!” Dan immediately shouted back, eyes going wide in surprise at his own unexpected outburst.

Phil paused at that, inhaling sharply and forcing himself to reconsider his previous thoughts. Then he took a step forward, curious, and watched as Dan automatically mirrored him by taking a step back.

“Am I a friend?” he asked, testing, as he took another step forward that Dan once again mirrored back.

“Or maybe…am I more than a friend?” he continued as he became more confident with every word he said, heart beating wildly in his chest as he marched forwards, forcing Dan to slowly but surely back up against the wall. Dan still refused to look at Phil, but Phil could see the aching to flee written all over his face, and he wasn’t going to let that happen.

Not until he’d gotten some answers, at least.

He leaned forward when Dan turned his head, and braced himself against the wall.

“Dan, look at me,” he demanded, desperate to see Dan’s eyes. Desperate to try and read him, to see what Dan might be feeling deep down inside.

“Dan, please, I need to know,” he continued, reaching up to to grip Dan’s chin between his fore finger and thumb, forcing his head up. “I can’t do this anymore,” he muttered, soft plea in his voice. “We either end this, or we stop pretending. It’s your choice.”

Dan looked up at him then, and there were tears in his eyes. Phil’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Dan,” he started to say, but he quickly found himself cut off by a mouth pressed tight against his. Dan’s arms were warm around him as he wrapped himself up in Phil, and Phil barely had a chance to get out a strangled “mmph!” before Dan had pressed their lips back together.

In the next moment, Dan’s hands found Phil’s shirt collar, and his fingers curled tight into the soft fabric. Phil had no control as Dan pulled him back, pressing their bodies so tight together, Phil could feel Dan’s erection pressing through his jeans.

“Wait, Dan, what are you doing?” Phil managed to gasp out as he teared their lips apart, hands very carefully pressed against Dan’s hips. Dan didn’t answer. Instead, he trailed his lips down Phils neck and nipped softly on the tender skin. When Phil gasped, he took the opportunity to seal their mouths back together, jamming his tongue into Phil’s mouth so hard their teeth actually clashed.

Dan moaned.

“Fuck, I want you,” he groaned, grinding his hips into Phil’s and moaning at the relief it brought with it. Reaching up, he tangled his hands into Phil’s dark hair, and yanked them impossibly closer until it became clear to Phil that he officially had Dan Howell pinned up against the wall.

Phil groaned in response, shoving one of his legs in between Dan’s to give him some leverage as he lost it. His hands pressed deeper into Dan’s hips, giving him the power to force Dan to grind down onto him, and Dan bit into his neck in response.

Phil’s lips trailed kisses down Dan’s jaw, mind in a haze at the feelings Dan was producing both inside, and outside of him. His breath was hot as he finally reached Dan’s ear, panting through the rush of feelings warming up his skin.

He didn’t have anything to say, so he didn’t. Instead, he just continued to press Dan’s hips down onto his as they both panted.

“Shit, shit, shit,  _Phil_ ,” Dan moaned, pressing himself down faster, and the words seemed to snap Phil back to reality. He pulled away, and immediately relaxed his grip.

“Dan, wait, Dan-” Phil started to say, but Dan was having none of it. He threw his head back harshly and moaned loudly, pressing his hips down on the leg Phil had neglected to move.

“Just  _fuck me, Phil_!” he cried out, and that was really all the confirmation Phil needed. Finally removing his leg from in-between Dan’s, he hoisted the other man up so that his legs were wrapped around his waist, and then he thrust forward, producing the much needed friction Dan was looking for.

Dan moaned shamelessly in response, dropping his head onto Phil’s shoulder as Phil continued the motion. He rolled his hips up with each thrust to produce the best feeling he could manage, and pressed his lips tight against the skin of Dan’s neck. Dan shivered against him, pressing their chests tight together as he panted and moaned.

“Dan,” Phil whispered, hoisting Dan up again to change his angle, mentally cheering when that got the response he wanted. Dan’s hips began to rock against his, and Phil knew he was close, so he pressed his teeth into Dan’s neck and watched him come undone.

Dan’s chest heaved against Phil’s as he started to come down, but Phil didn’t mind. Slowly, he helped Dan get back onto his own two feet, and then wrapped his arms around him to hold him upright.

They stayed like that for a few moments, Phil mentally willing away his still aching erection as he waited for Dan’s breathing to return to normal. Phil’s heart, in the meantime, was beating fast in his chest as Dan gasped into his neck.

Suddenly, Dan pressed himself tight to Phil again, only this time it wasn’t out of desire. His chest was heaving with sobs, the little hitches and shuddery inhales of Dan’s breath radiating against Phil’s chest.

He pulled away.

“Dan?” he asked, bewildered, but Dan didn’t answer. He just released Phil and disentangled himself from his limbs, pulling away and dragging an arm against his lips.

He turned his back on Phil, shoulders shaking roughly, and sniffled.

“I think we should break up,” he mumbled through his tears, and then he was gone, leaving Phil, confused, in his wake.

—

Phil trudged home that night unsure of what had happened. His heart was in his throat as he remembered the look on Dan’s face just before he’d kissed him, and all he could think was  _This whole thing was a mistake_.

He didn’t want it to be a mistake. Honestly, he’d never gotten along so well with another human being in his life, and the last thing he wanted was for things to end, but that’s exactly what Dan had done. Their relationship had ended before it had even begun.

With a heavy sigh, Phil unlocked his apartment door, and closed it behind him glumly, toeing off his shoes as quickly as possible so he could escape to his room.

Unfortunately for him, PJ chose that exact moment to meet him at the top of the stairs for the first time in days.

“Woah, what happened to you?” he asked the minute he caught sight of Phil, and it was clear from the look on his face that he was just as confused by Phil’s appearance as Phil had been by Dan’s sudden break up with him earlier that night.

“Dan broke up with me,” he stated in response, voice coming out more broken sounding than he’d intended it too. PJ, for his part, just stared at him in surprise as he pushed past, trudging into his bedroom and closing the door behind him. He collapsed onto his bed with his bedroom light still on, fully dressed and uncomfortably wet from where Dan had came on him, but he couldn’t be bothered to move.

He drifted off to sleep that night in a broken hearted haze, unsure what he’d done wrong.

—

There were tears streaking down his face. He could feel them, but he couldn’t be bothered to reach up and wipe them. Pressing his back against the wall of his flat, Dan dropped his head, letting it rest on his knees.

“What the hell?” he whispered, tracing the designs on his pajama pants with one finger idly. He didn’t really know why he did it. One minute everything had been fine, and he’d had his lips pressed against Phil’s. But then that voice inside of his head had crept in, telling him it wasn’t real. It felt real. He didn’t know why he’d done it.

_I think we should break up_. The words echoed around his head, because he was an idiot. Because he might have just let go of the best thing that ever happened to him.

His phone was ringing. Probably Chris. He ignored it, letting the too cheerful chiming become the background music for his sorrow. He didn’t particularly want to talk to Chris right now. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to talk to anyone right now. Except for Phil, and that obviously wasn’t going to happen.

He sniffled, rubbing his nose against the sleeve of his Christmas jumper (though it was long past the appropriate season for Christmas jumpers). He thought about grabbing the phone from where he’d discarded it and calling Louise, but decided against it. He already knew what she would say, ‘you need to talk to him, Dan’ or maybe ‘you’re a right idiot, Daniel Howell’. Either way, he wasn’t particularly in the mood for being properly scolded, though he probably deserved it.

“Dan?” Someone called, knocking on his bedroom door, before poking their head in. Chris.

“Yeah,” Dan said, looking away from his friend’s gaze, he knew that he looked like a mess. His hair was still tousled from earlier, and his eyes were red-rimmed with tears. He was wearing a Christmas jumper and pajama pants for God’s sake, not exactly what normal people were wearing at 7 in the evening.

“Dan, bloody hell,” Chris said, taking Dan’s acknowledgement of him as an invitation to come into the room and sit next to his best friend, ”what happened, mate? Peej called and said that you broke up with Phil.”

At the sound of Phil’s name, Dan felt new tears prickling his eyes, but he forced out a bitter laugh. “Of course he did.”

“Dan, are you alright?” Chris asked, and he looked properly concerned, and Dan wondered if maybe he actually looked as bad as he felt.

“Oh, I’m fine, obviously,” Dan said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “You know, Chris, I think this whole mess would’ve been avoided if you and Peej had just kept your noses out of it in the first place.”

“That’s not fair, Dan,” Chris said, and he looked hurt, “We were trying to help.”

“Well, I think I can make my own romantic decisions from now on, thanks,”  Dan said, closing his eyes, and he didn’t open them again until he heard the door swing shut behind Chris. Bloody hell.

—

Dan felt bad, like really bad. He hadn’t meant to take everything out on Chris, and now his friend wouldn’t answer his bloody phone calls. It was time for an intervention.

“Louise,” he said, bracing himself for the storm that was coming.

“Daniel James Howell, what did I tell you?” She asked as she swept past him and into his flat.

“I know,” Dan muttered, staring at his shoes. “I didn’t mean to.”

“What the hell do you mean ‘you didn’t mean too’. You broke up with him,” Louise asked, throwing her hands up in the air. Now that Dan was looking at her properly, she looked a little bit worn out too, with dark circles under her eyes.

“We weren’t actually dating,” Dan said, feeling a blush creep onto his cheeks.

“Like hell you weren’t,” Louise said, sitting at Dan’s dining room table, wrinkling her nose in disgust at the various junk food wrappers he’d left lying around the flat.

“I don’t know,” Dan said softly. “I don’t know why I did it, I didn’t want to.”

“And then getting into a fight with Chris, as well?” Louise said, shaking her head. “This isn’t like you, Dan.”

“All I want is to drink until I forget about him,” Dan said, ignoring the part about Chris - he knew his friend would come around eventually, once he realised Dan was just taking his anger over the break up out on him.

“Well, all that’s going to do is leave you hanging over the toilet bowel,” Lou scoffed.

“Maybe that’s all I deserve,” Dan muttered, chewing on his lip.

“Maybe that is all you deserve,” Louise agreed. “You’re being a right prat about this, Dan.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s like, when Phil’s around I can’t think straight. And I can’t keep my hands off of him, so I pushed him away because I was afraid,” Dan said quietly.

“I think you’re telling that to the wrong person,” Louise said, her gaze softening.

Dan’s head snapped up, “no way, Lou, you’re kidding. I can’t see Phil again. No way.”

“Dan, he at least deserves to hear the truth,” Lou said, placing a hand on Dan’s arm. “Can you imagine how he feels? You made out with him and broke up with him in the same ten minutes.”

“Pretty shit,” Dan said, slinking lower in his chair. “That’s how I’d feel.”

“Exactly, so you need to talk to him,” Louise said. “Look, I’ll get him to meet me somewhere, but then you’ll show up instead, okay?”

“Yeah, he won’t want to meet me if I try and call him,” Dan said. “He probably won’t want to meet me at all.”

“You underestimate his need for your reasoning,” Louise said. “Now try calling Chris again. None of this is his fault.”

“No, no, the fault is all mine,” Dan said. “Everything is my fault,” but he picked up his phone to call his friend again, anyway.

—

If Phil was being honest with himself, he knew it was pretty cowardly to call out sick the following Monday, but he hardly cared. The last thing he wanted was to see Dan right now, let alone be forced to work with him on Tom’s weeknight line up.

His eyes were red-rimmed and raw from all the crying he’d done this weekend, and his nose was so stuffy he couldn’t breathe correctly, so when it came right down to it, Phil figured he might as well be sick. He refused to feel bad about avoiding his responsibilities in light of what had happened the past few days, and instead cuddled up, alone, on his sofa.

He groaned when, just after 2 o’clock, his phone started to ring.

“Hello,” he answered, voice groggy.

“Hey, Phil,” Louise responded, voice tender and soft like a caring mother. Phil wanted to throw his phone.

“What do you want?” he groaned, rolling over onto his side.

“I heard you called in sick today. I wondered if maybe you’d want to get a coffee to feel better?” she asked, voice still too caring for Phil to handle.

“No,” Phil responded, and hung up.

Less than a minute later, Louise had called him back.

“What?” he whined as he answered once again.

“Stop being a big baby and come drop by my house!” she demanded, voice harsh. “I’ve even got those biscuits you like,” she added, and then, “and if you aren’t here in 30 minutes, I’m coming over there myself!”

She hung up before Phil could do so himself.

Phil groaned again, and heaved himself off the sofa, dragging his feet as he made his way back into his bedroom to get dressed.

5 minutes later, he left the house in his favorite Pugs sweatshirt and loose pants. He figured, if Louise was going to force him to socialise, then he could look as crappy as he wanted.

—

The door swung open before Phil even had a chance to knock, and he was so shocked at the sudden movement that he took a step back.

“Hello, Phil! Go on in, make yourself at home. I just realized I’m out of sugar, so I was just going to pop by the store and grab us some. I hope you don’t mind,” she said quite quickly, rushing past Phil with her purse in her hands.

“Wait, Louise, I could go with you…if you want,” he stated, trailing off as the older women disappeared into the lift. With a put-upon sigh, Phil turned and walked into Louise’s empty flat, the door closing softly behind him. He slipped off his shoes and made his way into her lounge, eyes downcast as he thought of Dan. He was halfway to the sofa before he became aware that someone else was in the room.

“Phil,” a familiar voice suddenly said, and Phil’s head whipped up so fast he nearly got whiplash.

In front of him stood Dan, looking perfectly put together and not the least bit upset. Phil’s heart began to thud in his chest as his eyes grew wide. He couldn’t believe that Louise had done this to him.

Actually, he could.

The last thing Phil wanted to do was confront Dan _again_ , so he turned to rush out of the room, only to stop when Dan beat him to the doorway. His hands began to shake at his sides.

“No wait, Phil. Please, can we talk?” Dan asked, a plea in his voice that Phil desperately wanted to ignore. Instead, he just gulped and stood his ground, forcing himself to stand up straight and appear intimidating.

“I don’t think we have anything left to say to each other,” he responded, proud when his voice didn’t shake. Dan’s face fell, but he didn’t move out of the doorway.

“Please, Phil. Can I at least explain myself?” he tried again, and it was only the fact that Phil could see his hands trembling that forced him to nod his head yes.

Dan let out a deep sigh of relief. “Do you want to sit down?”

Phil shook his head no, and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Alright, okay, that’s fine,” Dan muttered, sighing as he looked away, running a tan hand through his perfectly straightened hair.

“Right, I guess…where to start,” he started, smile awkward and shy as he met Phil’s eyes again. Phil just arched an eyebrow at him, and waited for him to continue.

If Dan wanted to explain himself, well, then Phil would let him, but he wasn’t going to give Dan any breaks.

Dan sighed again. “Look, the last thing I was expecting was to fall in love with when we started this whole mess, okay?” he finally burst out, and Phil could feel his head start to spin, the words like a slap in the face.

He opened his mouth to respond, but Dan put his hand up to ward him off.

“No, let me finish,” he said, taking a deep breath when Phil nodded his head, and then continued.

“I honestly didn’t think Chris could ever get it right. Sure, you were attractive, and if I’m being honest, down right sexy, but Chris has no concept of what my type is personality wise. Do you have any idea how many dates he’s set me up on over the last couple of years? At least 20, and not one of them worked out! I was expecting it to be the same with you, but then you come along with your fucking perfect eyes and peek-a-boo tongue laugh thing, and I was a goner. From day one!” he exclaimed, chest suddenly heaving.

His eyes were red-rimmed again, and Phil took a step forward to comfort him, but Dan didn’t let him. He took a step backwards, and gave Phil a look like a warning that Phil chose to heed.

His heart was beating fast in his chest when Dan shook his head at himself, a small chuckle by passing his lips.

“But then I came up with this stupid prank,” he said. “And when you agreed, I thought, ‘Shit, he must not be interested then.’ I shoved it away, thought ‘What the hell, he can’t be that perfect anyway,’ and then Louise was suddenly setting us up on all these dates, and you really were perfect! For me, anyway. And I was falling. I could feel myself falling for you, and that scared me, okay? That scared the shit out of me. I don’t like not being in control of myself, Phil. I literally can’t stand it, but when I’m with you? I have no control. My mind just starts spinning out of control, and all I can think about is how much fun I’m having with you, and how badly I want to kiss you,” he sighed, shoving his fringe back and out of his eyes.

Phil’s heart literally ached at his words, but he didn’t interrupt. It was clear Dan had more to say, and maybe it was selfish of him, but he wanted to hear it.

He felt like he  _deserved_  to hear it, for the way Dan had made him feel so used. Especially for the way he’d treated him just before their break up.

Dan continued.

“When I’m with you, Phil, all my worries are gone. I’m not wondering what I’m going to do with my life, or what’s going to happen to me if this job at the BBC doesn’t work out. I’m not thinking about the fact that I never got a degree, or what my parents are saying about me behind my back. I’m not drowning in self pity, or having my usual existential crisis at 3 in the morning, and maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe that’s a great thing! But that literally scares the shit out of me,” he stated, exasperation washing over his features.

Suddenly, he took a step forward, eyes piercing into Phil’s, and Phil couldn’t bring himself to look away. The man in front of him was completely exposed to him, and he was beautiful.

“Phil, I broke up with you because I was afraid. I was afraid of how easily you got under my skin. Afraid of how perfect you felt against me, and the feelings you were stirring up inside of me. I was afraid of how you made me feel like I was 16 again, instead of 23, but I’m not afraid anymore, and I regret breaking up with you more than anything,” he laughed at himself, and then took another step towards Phil, eyes wide and hopeful. Then he shook his head, and corrected himself.

“No, wait, that’s not true. I regret this fake relationship more than I regret anything,” he said.

Finally, he was right in front of Phil, and he reached out with gentle hands to take Phil’s hands in his.

“Look, Phil,” he continued. “I know I fucked up but…do you think maybe you could give me another chance?” he asked.

Phil didn’t know how to respond. The last thing he’d been expecting when Dan asked to talk was to be given a confession like that. It’d been shocking enough to his system to hear Dan say “I love you,” but all of this, on top of that?

He shook his head, unbelieving, and gently removed his hands from Dan’s. He watched as Dan’s face fell once again, and smiled sadly at the dark haired man in front of him.

“Dan,” he whispered, shaking his head again. “Daniel Howell, you absolute idiot,” he muttered, face breaking out into a grin as he laughed. Dan looked up at him, bewildered.

“What?” he asked. Phil chose not to respond, and in one swift movement, he closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist.

“I think, maybe, I can give you a second chance,” he stated, and wiped the surprise off Dan’s face by kissing him, soft and sweet, and much more innocent than their last.

“And for the record,” he added, as he pulled away, “I love you too.”

—

**8 Months Later**

"Dan!" Phil hollered, poking his head back into the younger boy’s apartment.

"I’m coming," Dan replied, pulling on his shoe. "Just give me a few seconds."

"You’re going to make us late, again," Phil said, but he leaned against the doorframe.

"It’s your fault anyway," Dan said. “If you hadn’t insisted that we make pancakes this morning, then we wouldn’t be running behind."

Phil just shook his head.

"Okay," Dan said, looking up at his boyfriend, "I’m ready now."

"It’s about time," Phil muttered, but he was grinning. "We have to get to the underground."

Not long later, the two boys were standing in the middle of a tiny flat near the center of London.

"What will Peej do without you?" Dan asked as he looked around the apartment.  _Their_  apartment. Or rather, what would be their apartment once they actually signed all of the papers.

"He’ll manage," Phil replied, thinking of his best friend. He and Dan had told Chris and PJ the truth not long after they got together  _for real_ , and it had taken a while, but now it was almost like the whole ordeal had never happened. Except that it had, which lead to the happiest months of Phil’s life.

And the thought that he was going to get to wake up to Dan’s face every day made him almost giddy with joy.

And the flat wasn’t much honestly, with it’s bare white walls and too many flights of stairs, but Phil knew that they’d fill it with memories and make it into a real, proper flat. Make it into a real proper home.

And maybe the thin ring box that Phil had sitting in his sock drawer while he waited for the perfect moment, well maybe that could help make it a proper home as well.

"I love you, Dan Howell," Phil said, looking at his boyfriend with a grin on his face.

"I love you too, you dork," Dan said, pressing a soft kiss to Phil’s lips.

"I think we have some papers to sign," Phil said as he pulled away from the kiss.

"Hmmp, and  _then_  can we try out the new bedroom?” Dan whined, pressing another kiss to his lips.

"And then we’ll have all the time in the world."

**The End**


	3. Extra Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [notanannoyingfangirl](http://notanannoyingfangirl.tumblr.com): Someone was asking for how Phil proposed to Dan after the end of our fic Accidentally on Purpose, so here it is:
> 
> Thanks to [insanityplaysfics](http://insanityplaysfics.tumblr.com) for co-writing this with me and thanks to wolvesgomoomoo on AO3 for inspiring me to write this. Enjoy
> 
> Insanityplays: I hope you guys enjoy the impromptu tid-bit that was never meant to happen!

"I still can’t believe it’s ours," Dan said, barely lifting his head off of the floor of their flat.

"I know," Phil replied, tilting his head to look at his boyfriend.

"Did you ever imagine we’d be here?" Dan asked, "sharing a flat, dating for real?"

"Only in my wildest dreams," Phil answered, grinning cheekily at the other boy.

Dan turned his head to return the grin, a smile tugging at his lips. “It’s been one hell of an adventure,” he admitted. “But it was worth it.”

"Yeah," Phil agreed, reaching out to find Dan’s hand. The minute he had, he tangled their fingers together.

"I think we need to paint the walls though," Dan said suddenly, glancing around their lounge, "and maybe get some furniture."

"We can’t paint the walls, Dan, didn’t you read the lease?" Phil asked with a laugh.

"Of course not, that’s what you’re for," Dan replied.

"Glad I’m good for something," Phil said, sitting up properly so that he could press a kiss to Dan’s lips.

Dan reciprocated the kiss for all but a few seconds, and then Phil could feel him laughing against him.

"What’s so funny?" he grumbled as he pulled away.

"You," Dan responded with a smirk, pressing his hands to Phil’s chest and pushing him.   
“Me?” Phil asked, teasing grin on his face.

"Yes, you," Dan replied, laughing as he finally rolled up into a sitting position. "Fuck, it just feels so…so crazy. We’re living together. Nearly a year ago we almost broke up."

"That would’ve been the worst mistake ever," Phil said, pressing another kiss to Dan’s lips.

"Definitely," Dan muttered, though he was still shaking with laughs.

"I love you, you know," Phil said, pushing Dan’s fringe out of his eyes.

"I love you, too," Dan said, "for real."

"For real," Phil agreed.

It was silent for a few seconds before either of them spoke again.

"Do you want kids?" Dan asked suddenly, "I mean not now or anything," he rushed to add, "but like in the future?"

"What, like adoption?" Phil asked.

Dan nodded. “Or like, a surrogate. Whatever works best,” he agreed, a blush forming on his cheeks, so that Phil could tell he was nervous.

Phil, meanwhile, could feel his heart expanding in his chest as a grin took over his face.

"Yeah, I’d like that," he agreed quietly, shifting closer to Dan. Was now the right time? he wondered, fingers trembling as he thought of the ring box he still had stashed away.

"It’s just that," Dan continued, and Phil cursed himself for not keeping the ring on him. No he had to hide it in his sock drawer. "Fuck, I don’t know, I just want us to be a family.

"Hold that thought for two seconds," Phil said as he stood and dashed into their bedroom.

"Phil!" Dan cried after him, though he made no move to follow.

Searching in his drawer until he found the box he already knew was there, Phil grabbed it, a smile already forming on his face, and raced back down to the lounge.

"Phil, were did you - oh," Dan cut himself off, eyes widening as he took in the black box in Phil’s hand.

"Daniel James Howell, I know that we started this whole thing in the weirdest way possible, but I love you so much. I’d follow you to the end of the earth and I know that you’d do the same. We’re partners in crime, and I wouldn’t want to tackle this next step with anybody else. Will you marry me?"

Phil watched as Dan’s jaw went slack, and his eyes started to fill with tears.

"I - you really want to marry me?" Dan asked meekly, suddenly standing as well.

Phil’s brow furrowed. “I mean, yeah, of course. Why else would I have asked?” he replied with a short laugh, suddenly scared.

Dan didn’t say anything. He stared at Phil like he was trying to see through him, this stupid little smile tugging at his mouth.

"Really?" Dan asked again, and Phil smiled.

"Yeah. So how about it? Will you marry me, Dan?"

"Yes!" Dan managed to get out, pulling Phil into a kiss. "Fuck yes, you twat. Did you really expect me to say no?" He asked in between kisses.

"Well, no," Phil admitted, letting out a shaky laugh,"but we’ve only technically been dating for about eight months and that isn’t very long and I didn’t want to rush you…"

"Phil? You talk too much," Dan said, pulling the other boy down into a kiss.

"We’re getting married?" Phil asked, as their lips separated, still not quite believing the events of the evening.

"We’re getting married," Dan repeated, pressing their lips together once more.

The end.


End file.
